verdxmmteshinterlxnd:

stuff you ask your mom:

  • mom where’s my towel
  • mom what do we eat for dinner
  • mom what time is it
  • mom where’s my phone
  • mom when do you come back
  • mom what day is it

stuff you ask your dad

  • dad where is mom

(Source: rightshere, via nothing-to-envy)

laterinthecaveoflesbians:

roachpatrol:

shego:

this is my kink where do I find this guy

fun fact: a few hours after posting this to my tumblr the guy sent me a message frantically demanding i take this down. he didn’t want to be famous on the internet, he said, and girls from tumblr were harassing him.
i refused.
a month later he sent me a message thanking me, and saying i got him laid.

But did he douse her in green paint and spank her like a disobedient avocado?

laterinthecaveoflesbians:

roachpatrol:

shego:

this is my kink where do I find this guy

fun fact: a few hours after posting this to my tumblr the guy sent me a message frantically demanding i take this down. he didn’t want to be famous on the internet, he said, and girls from tumblr were harassing him.

i refused.

a month later he sent me a message thanking me, and saying i got him laid.

But did he douse her in green paint and spank her like a disobedient avocado?

(via nothing-to-envy)

flowury:

I hope you fall in love with someone who makes you fall in love with the entire world

(via phanstop)

triplechinpoets:

Pickup line to get any girl

triplechinpoets:

Pickup line to get any girl

triplechinpoets:

Oh no fay got a ski mask

triplechinpoets:

Oh no fay got a ski mask

triplechinpoets:

Pretty davis

This poor boy

triplechinpoets:

Pretty davis

This poor boy